Someday
by wabuki
Summary: Ryo asseses his relationship with Dee. Set in Volume 2 after Act 6.


Someday By wabuki All characters, places, etc. are not mine. They are property of Sanami Matoh.  
  
Ryo. That's my name. Well, my Japanese name actually. My "American" name if you will, is Randy Maclean. My parents used to be the only ones that called me Ryo. After they died, I never had much use for it anymore.  
  
Most people can't tell I'm part Japanese. I have fairly light skin and dirty blond hair, so it's not really obvious. Well, no, that's I suppose that isn't true. Someone did notice.  
  
My partner, Dee. It's funny, but he noticed it right away. It was my first day at the 27th precinct, and I was assigned to be his new partner. I had been coolly informing him that I didn't appreciate being referred to as a child, as I was 20 years old and well-qualified for the job. Dee shrugged off my complaint and said that's how things were done there, not to get worked up about it. I was flustered, and when he suddenly leaned in on me, I was taken aback.  
  
"Hey. You got Japanese in you or something? Your eyes are pitch black".  
  
"Ur...urmm...yeah. Actually, I do," I stammered.  
  
"What's your Japanese name?"  
  
"Huh?!"  
  
"You do have one, don't you?"  
  
".....It's Ryo."  
  
"Ryo huh? So, would you take offense to me calling you Ryo from now on?"  
  
"N..no...It wouldn't offend me....it's just....I guess either/or is fine....."  
  
"Then Ryo it is."  
  
Just like that. I should have hated him on the spot. He was loud, obnoxious, arrogant, in-your- face........but I couldn't. Something drew me to him. Funny, it was almost.....  
  
*crash* I groan silently, careful not to jostle Carol who has fallen asleep leaning against me. Carol had stopped by earlier in the night with Bikky, wanting the four of us to go out for dinner, and Dee and Bikky had gotten into a fight. Carol and I decided to wait it out, since that was usually the best course of action as they usually tired themselves out, but considering they had been at their "game" for the last 30 minutes I was starting to worry.  
  
I thought back the events leading up to their fight and felt my cheeks burn and my nose threaten to bleed as I thought of Dee laying on top of me, his face close to mine, his husky voice echoing through my mind.  
  
".....I hate to point out the obvious, but you didn't run away the last time, did you?"  
  
I hadn't either. I couldn't! I was drugged by the smell of him, his knowing touch. He knew what to do to make me submit to him. I had been resisting so long......such as the time in England when he tried to unsuccessfully "go all the way". A man has only so much will-power. And Dee had been so miserable, so vulnerable. I wanted to make things right for him. He had been so desperate and angry when we learned his foster mother had been targeted by land sharks......  
  
"Ow!! You bastard! By dose!" I heard Dee's exclamation of pain from the other room followed by "Ka, ka, ka!" Bikky. Considering Bikky was roughly half of Dee's size he seemed to be doing rather well, having no problems holding his own against Dee.  
  
Although, I suspect Dee thinks of Bikky as a younger version of himself. He seems to hold back some when fighting with Bikky. From Penguin's stories, Bikky behaves much like Dee did at the same age.  
  
Penguin. I smile to myself at the ridiculous nickname Dee has given his foster mother. He loved her as though she was his real mother. Dee had grew up in an orphanage, and Mother had been the only one in his life that supported him through everything he did. When that land shark had targeted her and harmed her, Dee's eyes had been cold. Too cold. They were eyes of a person shutting down to avoid feeling more pain. I remember my heart aching for Dee, wanting to make the pain go away. I remember thinking, those are the eyes of a man with nothing to lose. Killer's eyes.  
  
No, that's not true. He made the right decision when it came down to the wire. The man responsible for harming Mother; Dee let him live.  
  
..........But, when I was pleading with him, telling him if he killed that man he would regret it.....what he said still haunts me.  
  
"You're not my friggin' guardian, goddammit! Now shut your freaking mouth and get the hell out of the way or I'll freaking shoot you too, I swear!"  
  
"How can you say that?! I'm your partner, Dee!! And you're my partner for crying out loud!"  
  
"To hell with it!! Then, I quit being your freaking partner. SO MOVE THE HELL AWAY, RYO!!"  
  
........When he said that, I felt as though I had died. My life without Dee would be empty. Meaningless. A life without love-  
  
Wait, wait. Love? Since when did I think of the bond between myself and Dee as love? He's an obnoxious idiot, who is rash, makes me write his case files, gets jealous when I talk to other men......who makes me laugh and smile, and that is always there for me when I need him to be.  
  
Fuck.  
  
I didn't want to come to New York to deal with this. I'm not ready to admit somethings to myself, let alone another person. Another........man.  
  
It's confusing. I send mix signals to Dee because I don't' really even know what I want. All I know is that when I'm with Dee, everything else seems insignificant. He makes me want......things......things I have no clue about but want to find them out with him. I want his lips on mine, his hands on my body....his..........  
  
It's too quiet. I haven't heard anything break in the last few minutes. When I get up to investigate, carefully to make sure Carol doesn't awake, I see that Bikky and Dee are sprawled on the floor fast asleep. They must have dropped from exhaustion. I grab a few blankets and cover them up with them.  
  
Afer a moment's hesitation I kiss Dee's lip softly, so I don't disturb him. His eyes flutter, but he doesn't wake up.  
  
I step back, and smile at him. He's beautiful. I wish.......I wish I could tell him. How I love the way his hair falls over his eyes or the way he cares about Bikky and Carol even though he pretends not too. I can't though. Not today. Probably not even tomorrow. Someday though. Someday........he'll know. I'll tell him. 


End file.
